Procrastination is Just One of My Many Skills

Song of the Day: “All in My Head” by Shawn Mullins

“Is it all in my head?  Is it all in my head?

Could everything be so right without me knowing?

Is it all just some game? Where everything stays the same?”

I can’t help thinking to myself that maybe all of the troubles I have been writing about are all just in my head.  Well, of course they are in my head, they are my thoughts.  But perhaps I’m just fabricating or exaggerating my problems because of the stress?  Granted, I am still all alone here in Philadelphia, but maybe I just let it get to me too much.  I feel OK now; sure I am spending another night by myself but for some reason it doesn’t seem as bad as it did two weeks ago.  Maybe things really are right but I just don’t realize it?  I know that I like to complain (it’s just entertaining), so maybe my downtrodden feelings were just an extreme extension of that sentiment?  I don’t know for certain but I can’t help thinking that it might be at least a little true, and it makes me chuckle.

Yes, I am procrastinating.  I am writing this when I really should be working on my final project.  I just can’t bring myself to focus on it though, and I think I know why.  My partner and I are doing a study of adaptive filters in digital signal processing.  Due to my distaste for MatLAB and my proficiency in writing, I have taken on the role of writing the research paper.  Really a very simple task, I should have no problem hammering out a 10 to 15 page paper on the many facets of the subject.  But right now I just can’t bring myself to write.

I have always had a system to writing papers that seems to have served me well in the past.  Procrastination.  I would wait until just a few days before the paper was due and then I would write the entire thing in a day or two, reserving myself some time to proofread and edit.  But in the period before I actually write the paper I’m not really procrastinating.  Like all problems I tackle, I mentally prepare myself for the task at hand and try to plan out which directions I will take with the solution.  This is the same method I would use to solve a complex calculus or physics problem.  I will work out in my head which strategy (i.e. which theorems to employ) would be best utilized to get to the final answer.  Essentially I solve the problem before I do any work, I just have to write out the solution to find where I will end up.  I do the same thing when I write.  I take my time to create a framework of the paper; a series of sections compromised of different facets of the subject, which points will be the focus of each section, which sidetracks I will follow to take up space, etcetera.

This is my normal methodology for writing papers.  But since I have a partner in this, I feel the need to start early so show him I’m actually contributing to the final project.  What I have is not much, but it’s a solid start and considering I have about three weeks to work on this I’m ahead of my game.  The most difficult part for me is getting past the mental stage and actually putting pen to paper (figuratively of course, doing anything other than typing it up on a computer would be far too time consuming).  I do need to get working on it though.  In the next three weeks I have to study for two final exams and finish two final projects.  I have quite the task at hand and I shouldn’t be wasting much more time slacking off.

I think this is my resolution to stay focused on my studies for the rest of the semester.  Really I don’t have a choice.  If I slack off the work will just pile up and I’ll be left with little or no time to study for my final exams.  This isn’t fun and games like it was in Buffalo, this is the big leagues and I need to take this seriously.

Anyway, here is a picture of a view I have on my way home from class.  In the foreground is the famous 30th street station and behind it is a building I don’t know.  This building always has a different pattern of lights showing on its face in different colors.  It’s really cool.  Sorry the quality isn’t better, the picture doesn’t really capture the view like how I see it every time I walk by at night.  It is really a great view and I wish you could see it like I can.