The Reigning Champion

Song of the Day: “Overkill” by Colin Hay

“I can’t get to sleep, I think about the implications.

I’m diving in too deep, and possibly the complications.

Especially at night, I worry over situations that I know will be all right.

It’s just overkill.”

I listen to music a lot. In pretty much anything I do that requires concentration, I like to have music playing in the background. Right now as I type this, I have music playing. I’ve found that music influences and inspires me in specific ways. And therefore, I’m going to begin every one of my posts with a “Song of the Day” to bring to your attention the current song that has struck a chord in me somewhere, or a song that I am just really enjoying. Hopefully you, the reader, will investigate the songs I write about and experience some emotion from it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to feel how I feel or try to be in my shoes or any crap like that. It’s just that I feel something strong when I hear these particular songs, and I want you to feel something too. I want you to experience the emotions that each song evokes and perhaps even get a picture of where I am at emotionally and mentally. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an optimist or an idiot (maybe the same thing?), I don’t think that just by listening to the same song as I am listening to will put you in my shoes. But maybe you can get an idea of where I’m coming from.

The excerpt from “Overkill” that I transcribed does not give a perfect picture of what the song is about, but I enjoy it a lot. But when I think about it, I can’t help thinking that it’s not what specifically the artist wanted to portray in his or her music, it’s about what the music means to you. It’s about the message or the emotions that you extract from a song; that’s what is important. To me this song is about being alone. One stanza begins with “alone between the sheets, only brings exasperation”. Mr. Hay creates a juxtaposition between the unfortunate truth of being alone in the world and the fact that obsessively worrying about it is pointless and just makes it worse, hence overkill. As he says, “day after day, reappears. Night after night my heart shows the fear.” At the end of the day, when you are lying in bed, you can’t help thinking about what is wrong with your life. But the morning always comes and that’s a fresh start.

I feel emotionally tied to this song, maybe because I can’t help thinking recently that I am alone, and that sucks. Sure I have my family and friends, but I don’t have anyone to share my life with and I don’t really know anyone I can spend time with on a regular basis here in Philadelphia. I guess I am just feeling lonely. Maybe the the pressure and stress are just continuing to build (due to my midterm on Thursday) and I’m subconsciously diverting it to other areas of my life that are not so much in the “sunshine and pretty flowers” category.

So this past weekend I went up to Vermont for the annual Diplomacy tournament, Carnage on the Mountain. In case you can’t guess from the headline, I won for the second year in a row. I felt like in the first and second rounds I played great as I was the leader on both boards. My third game I played poorly, but the combination of all three rounds gave me enough points to be the winner. I am ecstatic about winning again, let alone winning any other tournament. I guess now I might have to consider stop denying the fact that I’m actually an above average player.

All my life I’ve dealt with low self-esteem. Until recently, I’ve never taken compliments well. I’ve always instinctively, and maybe subconsciously, tried to distance myself from people that show an interest in me. I’ve always found that the path of self-deprecation is just the easier route. I like to think of myself as just not being a braggart. But I don’t think that is the case. I certainly have the ability to gloat and boast about something, and put myself on a pedestal. I enjoy the act of self-aggrandizement because it just seems silly to me, the irony being that one who puts little value on himself usually does not present the image of being self-absorbed.

Anyway, Carnage was a great time. As always the best part of traveling to tournaments is getting to see my friends that I only see on these occasions. I think that is the main reason behind my drive to travel to tournaments, I get to hang out with my friends. This tournament is hosted in my favorite venue of any tournament I have ever been too. Why is this? Because we played Diplomacy in a bar. The bar is literally 10 feet away when we are playing. Needless to say, I got drunk. Friday night was an absolute blast. I dominated my board (I think, it’s still a little fuzzy), I got drunk, and we had great after hours drinking in the hotel room. A couple bottles of wine, good friends, and raucous conversations was probably the highlight of the weekend for me. That is, of course, besides winning the tournament. Below is a picture of me with the awards I won. In my right hand is the plaque for winning the tournament last year (don’t ask me why the present it the next year) and in my left is the Best Austria and Best Turkey awards I won. Behind me is the big board that was presented to me as a result of winning the tournament. Pretty sweet, right? That will definitely be a fantastic addition to HuskyCon VI next year. That board will look great on the dinning room table at home.

So I sliced off a sizable chunk of my index finger cutting off a piece of lemon for my very tall glass of vodka and it’s starting to hurt to type. So I’m signing off. Sorry about the lapse in posts it’s just that things have been a little hectic here. My midterm will be on Thursday and then it’s smooth sailing. Therefore I should be back with my posting schedule so look forward to another entry this Friday.